Noodles and Noggins

Inspired by Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, this zany contemporary fantasy follows Alyssa Galey, who falls asleep researching vacations online and is led by her computer mouse to the Morpheus Resort. She encounters strange characters along the way, including a scholar writing his doctoral dissertation on “functional noodles” and a ruthless CEO who is likely to make heads roll. Will Alyssa enjoy her time at the resort? And will she ever get home again?

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Excerpt from Noodles and Noggins

Alyssa Galey found herself tumbling down an endless rabbit hole through cyberspace. At least, that’s how she’d come to envision the momentum precipitated by her rapid series of mouse clicks. Where she’d come from, she no longer knew; her starting site was now a couple of hours and an infinite number of hyperlinks away, never to be seen again. Funny how hard it was to research a vacation. She was under the impression computers were supposed to make her life easier, but perhaps she’d been misled.

Finally, with one quick spasm of her pointer finger, she launched herself into a page filled with a panoramic view of a forest. When she closed her eyes, she could imagine the tall trees surrounding her, embracing her with their shade. The scent of pine reached her nose, and dry leaves and needles crackled beneath her feet. This was exactly the sort of vacation she needed—one that would get her away from it all, away from her busy life.

A tiny squeak jolted her out of her reverie, and she opened her eyes. She saw a web banner scrolling across the top of her computer screen: Escape to the rural Morpheus Resort, just five miles outside the historical village of Fantasy Ridge… She was intrigued. Surely a small click wouldn’t hurt, not when she was already so far from home.

You’ll have to see it to believe it, the next dazzling message proclaimed, luring her ever onward.

She clicked again, and a map popped up, complete with a list of directions. Not wanting to risk its disappearance, she promptly hit Print and snatched up the paper that plopped into the tray.

“Well, this doesn’t look too complicated,” she tried to convince herself.

Another squeak answered her, and she glanced down to see her old-fashioned computer mouse looking at her. Well, it couldn’t actually look at her, since it had no eyes, but it was definitely facing in her direction. To her surprise, a furious clatter followed as the mouse rolled off its pad. With a swift tug, it popped its cord and attempted suicide by flying off the desk. Alyssa stared at her feet, where it lay motionless.

“Well, that was stupid,” she informed it, which caused it to rouse itself enough to give her another squeak. The fall hadn’t shut it down after all.

Dragging its wire behind it like a long, slinky tail, her determined mouse rolled out of the room. Not trusting it to wander around on its own, she followed it into the kitchen.

“I guess I do need to get dinner started,” she mused when her mouse came to a halt.

Several menu items occurred to her, but she glanced down at her hand to discover she’d carried the printout of directions with her. The first instruction on the list made her tilt her head. It read, Step through the refrigerator. You must eat to live, but don’t drink and drive. Curious.

She decided to heed the advice and pulled open the refrigerator door. This frosty entryway suddenly seemed a lot bigger than usual, but she didn’t have time to ponder it as her mouse shot between her feet and into the fridge. It occurred to her that maybe she shouldn’t depend on electronics to lead her around, although she couldn’t really figure out why. As far as she could tell, her mouse appeared pretty confident about where it was going.

With a tentative step, she breached the cool compartment and was blinded by the brilliant white light. As she moved deeper inside, a tomato squished under her foot, and she knocked over the milk with her hip. The incident made her want to laugh, not cry. Toward the back, she discovered the half-empty jar of mustard she’d been looking for and had to shove it aside before she could make her way past. Still squinting, she at last stepped clear and felt the crinkling of leaves under her soles.

“I’ve made it,” she remarked with some surprise. A whole forest stood before her.

In fact, these woods looked exactly like they had on her computer screen, right down to the faint hiking trail curving between the trunks in the distance. She couldn’t wait to see what the resort had to offer. Evidently, her computer mouse couldn’t wait either, because it was impatiently clicking its right button like a tapping toe.

“All right,” Alyssa conceded. “Since you seem to know where you’re going, why don’t you lead the way? We’ll probably make better time.”

Overjoyed by this announcement, it replied with a happy squeak before turning on its roller ball and streaking toward the trail. It skated remarkably well over the uneven terrain, but this meant Alyssa had to break into a jog to keep up.